He never said those exact words, but he showed me. He showed me that trust is very important. That trust has to be earned. That trust is very hard to bring back if it’s lost –sometimes you can never get it back, no matter how hard you try.
Dad never used to monitor my every move and breathe down my neck like so many Middle Eastern men. Don’t get me wrong, dad is a through and through “Se3eedy” (a man from Upper Egypt: strong traditions, believes in propriety, that sort of thing). He’s a very intimidating, foreboding and domineering man when needed. He’s also very reasonable, understanding and logical. He taught me early on that I have to be a responsible human being –trustworthy, honest, and self-disciplined. I shouldn’t need to be monitored to act properly. I know what’s right and wrong all on my own; they can’t watch me all the time. He knew that and I got to know that. Soon I realized that if I wanted to do something I’ll find a way to do it. And because he was a kid once too and went through all the phases before me, he could relate.
I remember: I would be the only kid in my group of friends whose parents knew the truth of where they really were at any given moment. Not because I was kept under lock and key –far from it, but rather because there was an open conversation channel between us. You want to go to the movies, sure honey. You want to go to your friend’s birthday party, why not. Give your mother the house’s phone number. Once I was so tense before my IGCSE English final that my father allowed me to go watch a movie to chill a little.
As a result, I never lied to my parents, hid stuff from them, or had any friends they didn’t know about. To most people around me I was a freak of course. Some even thought I was lying to them.
Now, a single female in my thirties, I have the family house to myself. Yes, you read right. I’m a single, Egyptian female, and I have been living for the majority of the last two years on my own. Both my parents are alive and well (thank God for that), and I want them to be around for many, many, many more years. How this came about is a long story, but the gist of it is that it was a conscious decision by my father, because, as he puts it, I’m at a stage in my life where I need to know how to depend on myself, and I need my space). Life is good to me. My parents love me and I love them. We still don’t lie to each other, and we fully trust one another. What more could I ask for?
Dad never used to monitor my every move and breathe down my neck like so many Middle Eastern men. Don’t get me wrong, dad is a through and through “Se3eedy” (a man from Upper Egypt: strong traditions, believes in propriety, that sort of thing). He’s a very intimidating, foreboding and domineering man when needed. He’s also very reasonable, understanding and logical. He taught me early on that I have to be a responsible human being –trustworthy, honest, and self-disciplined. I shouldn’t need to be monitored to act properly. I know what’s right and wrong all on my own; they can’t watch me all the time. He knew that and I got to know that. Soon I realized that if I wanted to do something I’ll find a way to do it. And because he was a kid once too and went through all the phases before me, he could relate.
I remember: I would be the only kid in my group of friends whose parents knew the truth of where they really were at any given moment. Not because I was kept under lock and key –far from it, but rather because there was an open conversation channel between us. You want to go to the movies, sure honey. You want to go to your friend’s birthday party, why not. Give your mother the house’s phone number. Once I was so tense before my IGCSE English final that my father allowed me to go watch a movie to chill a little.
As a result, I never lied to my parents, hid stuff from them, or had any friends they didn’t know about. To most people around me I was a freak of course. Some even thought I was lying to them.
Now, a single female in my thirties, I have the family house to myself. Yes, you read right. I’m a single, Egyptian female, and I have been living for the majority of the last two years on my own. Both my parents are alive and well (thank God for that), and I want them to be around for many, many, many more years. How this came about is a long story, but the gist of it is that it was a conscious decision by my father, because, as he puts it, I’m at a stage in my life where I need to know how to depend on myself, and I need my space). Life is good to me. My parents love me and I love them. We still don’t lie to each other, and we fully trust one another. What more could I ask for?
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